Growing up in Pakistan as the daughter of an educationist means that my life has always been surrounded by conversations about learning, values, and raising children “the right way.” My mother has spent over 20 years working with students and parents, guiding them through the ups and downs of middle and high school. Simultaneously, at home, she was also guiding me and my brothers.
Now, at the age of 21, I find myself looking back on all those lessons with a new kind of appreciation. Especially as I scroll through my social media feeds and see how parenting is changing around us, I realize just how relevant my mother’s insights were and still are.
One of the most powerful things I’ve seen growing up is that no matter how busy my mother was with her school, trainings, or endless lesson plans, she never let parenting be something “outsourced.” She always reminded me that teachers, nannies, or grandparents can help, but the real connection has to come from the parents themselves. From late-night talks about my insecurities to simply showing up at my basketball matches, she made it clear that parenting is presence, not just provision.
Previously, when I was younger, I sometimes used to think that my friends had the “cool” parents because they let them stay out till late or ignored certain rules. But over time, I realized that boundaries were a form of care. My mother didn’t try to be my best friend when I was 15 because at that time, it was important for her to be my parent. Now that I’m 21, I can feel the shift as we share conversations like friends. I now realize and understand why she insisted on being the guide when I was younger. It wasn’t about popularity but rather protection.
I’ve watched my mother juggle her career, our home, and her own well-being, and I know firsthand how impossible “perfect balance” is. There were times when family came before her professional growth, and at that age, I didn’t always see the sacrifice. But today, I respect it. Parenting sometimes means pressing pause on other ambitions, and that’s not failure, I think it’s love in its rawest form.
In my generation, I see parents trying to keep up with everything: the vacations, the parties, the social media perfect life. But the truth is, what I remember most from my childhood aren’t the gifts or trips but rather the Sunday mornings my mother sat with me and asked whether I wanted to make pancakes with her because she thought I didn’t look too happy. That kind of attention builds a child’s self-worth in ways no gadget ever could.
At the end of the day, I believe what children remember most isn’t the perfection of their parents but their presence. The laughter at the dinner table, the reassurance during tough exams, the quiet encouragement when everything feels overwhelming; those are the moments that shape us. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my mother’s journey as both an educationist and a parent, it’s that real parenting isn’t about creating flawless kids or flawless homes; it’s about creating honest, loving connections that last a lifetime.
